1 Peter 3:1-2, 1 Samuel 25:2-35, Proverbs 31
August 10, 2023
My last blog addressed what it means from a Christian perspective to be a man who seeks to live in a way that’s pleasing to God. This time, it’s the ladies’ turn…
When God created Eve and presented her to Adam, He referred to her as a helper comparable to Adam. Eve was never labeled a servant to Adam. The authority that Adam was granted over Eve came from the fact that He was created first and God had already assigned to him the responsibility of helping those who were to follow come to know and love God the way Adam knew and loved God. This is where the concept of men serving as spiritual leaders originated but with that, let’s make no mistakes. In the Bible, there are numerous accounts of women having to step into that role for the benefit of men who were failing to meet this obligation.
Many of the relational difficulties that spring up between men and women these days come from the misinterpretation of this one word: Submission. When some men hear this word, for some reason the first thing that comes to mind is “Woman, you shall obey my every command.” And that’s terrific if you’re talking to a genie from a lamp, but that isn’t even remotely close to what the Bible is talking about.
A Godly woman is expected to submit to a man when he demonstrates and walks out a desire to know, serve and obey Jesus Christ. A Godly woman submits to that effort. A Godly woman is not expected to surrender herself to a man who doesn’t know Jesus. Let’s look at a couple of good examples from the New Testament. First up, Paul wrote to the Ephesians, chapter 5, verses 21- 22.
“And further, submit to one another out of reverence to Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.”
Notice two things here. First, we are to submit to one another, not one over another, and, the biggie, wives submit to husbands as to the Lord. Meaning that if that man isn’t the picture of a man striving to be Christ-like, you don’t submit to that. We, none of us, should be submitting to anything that lacks the light of Jesus Christ.
The Apostle Peter places a perspective on this that I love. This is from 1 Peter 3:1-2.
“In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.”
It’s a bit nuanced, but do you get what Peter’s saying here? If the man is called to be the spiritual leader in his home, then the woman is charged with being the one who brings him back in line should he fall short in that calling. That’s a bit more significant than asking “How high?” when hubby says, “Jump!”
The Godly, submissive wife is charged with making sure that the power of the Holy Spirit is a constant, guiding force in their relationship. That’s one awesome, humbling responsibility and one that we men overlook at our own risk.
Another great example of a Godly woman compensating for her husband’s shortcomings can be found in 1 Samuel chapter 25, verses 2-35. It’s a bit too much to cover fully here so let me encourage everybody to go read it. The bottom line though is this. A woman named Abigail is married to a guy named Nabal. In Hebrew, Nabal translates to “fool” so you kind of see where this is going. Nabal, it seems has a mouth that runs 100 miles per hour faster than his brain, and as a result, he manages to not only insult King David but also provoke David and his military forces to consider swooping in and killing Nabal and his entire family.
Fortunately for Nabal, there’s Abigail, a wife who is clearly faithful to God and therefore able to rely on that faith to save her wayward husband. Abigail hears about the situation that Nabal has created with David and determines to do what must be done to save her family. She puts together a huge package of provisions for David and his men. She presents them to David pleading for mercy and letting David know in no uncertain terms that her husband “…is a fool, just as his name suggests.” Ouch.
Abigail more than once in this encounter with David praises the LORD and prays for His protection over David. David forgives Nabal through the pleas of Abigail and later, when Nabal dies from drunkenness, David takes Abigail as his wife.
The example Abigail sets for Godly women today is simple. When you find yourself yoked to a man who is not faithful to Jesus, you do what you have to do to protect yourself and your children. You set boundaries that keep yourself safe while at the same time communicating to that man what must happen before healing in the relationship can take place.
Jesus must become the top priority because, with the presence of Jesus, the relationship will fall victim to the ways of this crazy world we live in. In my ministry work, sadly I see this play out all too often. Men are rejecting Jesus at an alarming rate and the damage that’s causing has a wide-reaching ripple effect.
So, to all the Christian sisters out there I pray for you to be strong in your calling. Because we live in a world where the enemy has placed a target on the backs of men, weakening them in faith and stature, and commitment Jesus is using you as a primary implement to correct that terrible setback. Let your Godly life speak to those brothers who need it and then let Godly wisdom inform you that you’ve done all you can. Always be faithful, but always be safe!